Black Girls Living Lavishly

I wrote this recently as I’ve completely closed the door to my old life and old self, and am stepping into a new existence. I figured this may be helpful to someone who is starting over and curating a life from the ground up.

For the majority of my life, I over-gave and had few boundaries, with little thought of myself. I was raised to be quiet and obedient, to not take up too much space or make a fuss. As an adult, I tried to take on the emotional labor of the people in my life. It wasn’t until I went to therapy that I started to understand the toll it was taking on me, as well as who I had chosen to share my life with; scales fell from my eyes in the most painful way.

After several years of trying to be everything to everyone, while also trying to figure out who I truly was, I ultimately found myself completely burned out. I was unable to work, and had to walk away from my relentless lifestyle and just about everyone I loved as they weren’t healthy for me.

It took three years for me to grieve and recover from the burnout, and I’m learning to live a softer existence. I’ve accepted my neurodivergence. My life is now rooted in love, intuition, spirit, and pleasure. I’m making up for lost time, and don’t want to live any other way.

The benefit of being in the position of creating a new life from scratch is that we get to build from wisdom. We can choose who we allow into our lives and make sure we are creating a healthy community with people who see and understand us. This statement is serving as an affirmation and a guide to help me align with my soul family. May it assist you as well.

“I reclaim my full authority, beauty, brilliance, and softness.

I am no longer available for small love, misplaced loyalty, or emotionally bankrupt connections.
I will not shrink to soothe egos. I will not mother grown people. I will not carry another’s potential on my back.

I honor the divine, intuitive, magnetic woman I have always been.
My softness is not weakness. My anger is not bitterness.
It is truth in motion. And it is sacred.

I release all ties to those I made look good while I silently suffered.
I release the role of the fixer, the forgiver, the forever strong one.
I release the belief that I must over-function to be safe or worthy.

From this day forward, I am only available for:

• Partnerships rooted in vision, self-awareness, emotional wisdom, and mutual care
• Soft mornings, passionate evenings, and full-bodied laughter
• Spiritual alignment, financial flow, and joy that doesn’t need to be earned

I am no longer afraid of being alone.
I am afraid only of betraying myself again.

I hold my future with open hands.
And I walk forward—sovereign, soft, and free.

— (Add your name)
A woman reborn.“