I’m beginning to understand why the last three years unfolded the way they did — the divorce, the loss of my closest friendships, and my breakup from my first long-term relationship after my divorce. At the time, it all felt devastating. It felt like my life was unraveling. But now, with more clarity and peace in my body, I see that what was happening was actually a sacred clearing. A divine course correction. A protection of my future self.
The truth is, I’m destined for a wealthy life. Not just financially — though that is part of it — but a life rich in joy, rest, love, and sovereignty. And as painful as it was to accept, I now realize I couldn’t carry that life and stay entangled with the people I once called home. My former life was filled with energies that kept me locked in performance and self-abandonment. If I had stayed, I might have gained success — but I would have given it all away to them. I wouldn’t have known how to keep anything for myself.
And then came the first long-term relationship I entered after the divorce, and for a while, I thought maybe she was the reward after the storm. But what I see now is that she was the final mirror. The last test. She came to show me that even after everything I’d survived, I was still not choosing myself. I was still shrinking, still bending, still hoping to be fully seen by someone who could only love the parts of me they could control.
The pain of believing she might be the one — only to realize she was not — took my breath away. But it also woke me up. It forced me to decide, for real this time, what I would no longer tolerate in love, in friendship, or in my own spirit.
Looking back, I realize that the breakup was never about punishment or drama — it was divine intervention. My higher self knew I wouldn’t have left her on my own. I was still too tender, still hoping she would grow with me. So Spirit set the whole thing up, right down to the moment it became clear she wouldn’t choose me. And as painful as that rejection was, I now understand it was actually a sacred rescue. My future self had already seen what I couldn’t yet see. She orchestrated my escape.
That decision changed everything.
When I was in the relationship, I tried to start a group similar to Booked and Bougie, and nothing would take root. It was frustrating — like trying to grow flowers in poisoned soil. But the moment I left, the moment I chose myself and fully let go of her energy, things started to move. My second TikTok about the group suddenly went viral. Women began joining the group. They wanted to grow the community in their own cities. Booked and Bougie was born. And my life has never been the same.
It’s not lost on me that none of this came to life until I cleared out everything that was blocking my expansion. Energetically, emotionally, spiritually — they weren’t meant to come with me. They couldn’t. Because I had to become the version of myself who was no longer willing to perform for love or labor for crumbs. I had to become the woman who could receive, keep, and enjoy the life God has for her.
So now, I make peace with what I’ve lost. I honor the role each person played in my journey. And I thank them — not for how they treated me, but for how they helped me see what I would never again allow.
Because on the other side of that letting go? Was everything I prayed for.
Black Girls Living Lavishly 
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